A few days ago, I was thinking about how much I adore the Bible Study that I go to. I love it because it has provided the consistency, and therefore the depth, that I’ve always wanted, but never achieved on my own.
Sometimes I have a very self-sufficient attitude. I’m an intelligent person, and am successful at many things. So, I often have the thought that “I shouldn’t have to . . . ” You can fill in the blank.
In regards to the Bible Study, I used to go through short spurts of daily study. I had this idea that personal devotion time should was something I should “just be able to do.” I should be self-motivated. I should be consistent. And like with my house, and my weight, I always thought that “someday” I’ll have to start doing that.
The reality is, that although I should be able to eat right, exercise, keep my house clean, and consistently have personal time with God, saying I should doesn’t make it happen.
While there are other areas in which I have an internal drive that makes me be consistent and focused, in these areas I have to set up a system to make up for the lack of internal drive. I have to compensate. And hopefully, setting up the system will ignite something that will create the internal drive.
Thinking that I should doesn’t do anything for me. But going to a very organized and in-depth Bible Study has ignited a fire in me to be consistent. It is no longer a struggle for me to find a time to spend in God’s Word. Now it is a major part of my routine, and it isn’t easily forgotten.
I’ve been going to Weight Watchers for over a year now. Before I went, I knew what foods were healthy and which were not. I knew how to read nutrition labels and measure portion sizes. But I needed a system that made sense to me to keep me motivated, and to keep it as a priority for me. I could lose some more, but I have kept 30 lbs off for an entire year now, and it is primarily because I know that I have to go weigh in every week. I am accountable, and I have found a system that works for me.
With my house, I’m exploring through this blog what works and doesn’t work for me. I’m finding that I need non-negotiable tasks. I’m finding that even though a normal person might not need to sweep their kitchen every single day, I do. I should be able to notice when it needs to be swept and hop to it, but I don’t. So for me, daily sweeping is the system that works.
I should find a time every week to clean my bathrooms thoroughly from top to bottom. I should naturally wipe down the faucet every time I wash my hands. But I don’t. Weeks can go by without my ever thinking about the need to clean bathrooms. So I wipe them down every night. This works for me because it’s consistent. I don’t have to remember the last time I did it, because I do it daily. It perhaps isn’t as thorough as a huge cleaning day, but by doing it everyday, I’ll hit tomorrow what I might miss today.
So what’s the point?
I have to do what works. There are things that I shouldn’t HAVE to do, but I do have to do them, if my house is going to stay in order. I have to accept my struggles and find ways to keep them from overwhelming me.
You are a genius! So true. What I really appreciate about your blog is how honest you are with YOURSELF. I found this site through a link two weeks ago, and I am trying to slowly work my way through the archives (in order not to use it as another excuse not to do my chores). Thank you — it is a delight reading this and recognizing it as not just another system that doesn’t work for me, but as the real deal–honest self criticism that is hopeful BECAUSE it is so honest. Now off to my Bible reading I neglected earlier….
totally get it. and i’m getting there too!
That is sooooo me too!
It’s funny, through your blog I am trying to define what kind if slob I actually am. I’m definitely more of a clutter and paper slob. Laundry, dishes, nitty gritty cleaning haven’t been a huge issue for me. I could clean a bathroom all day long but I think it’s the STUFF that paralyzed me some times. When you say that most people probably don’t have to sweep every day but I couldn’t imagine that. Maybe it’s because I’m home all day with 4 kids (home schooling) so that’s ALL day of meals and messes. Also, the whole “daily check” thing is helping me think of the dirty bathroom as a daily job and not getting mad that it’s dirty every day (3 boys). I scrub it down 1-2 times a week but just need to bite the bullet and wipe it in between without complaining. Thanks for your insight, honesty and advice.
<3 this post!
Can I just say… I think we are literally the same person!!! From time with God to the ransacked looking houses. Thank you for writing all of the things that have been swimming around in my brain for so long! For letting it all hang out… and for encouraging me through your struggles, set backs, and your victories both big and small. I have been like this my whole life. My sweet mother is a retired teacher. She knew how my brain worked from the beginning and would sit with me to help me focus on what needed to be done next when cleaning my room. I am embarrassed to say that I have had her come do that to me as an adult from time to time when I get super overwhelmed. Just thank you for your honesty! I am on maternity leave right now with my second kid and have been reading you backwards while nursing him. I am starting to make a mental list of changes I can make and a game plan of how to do it. I am catching myself thinking of it in the big picture. My mom always told me to eat the elephant one bite at a time. I need have such a hard time with that! I am so thankful that I am not the only one!