So I’ve blogged for two days now. Not exactly a marathon accomplishment, but you have to start somewhere.
I’m guessing that if anyone was reading this, they’d probably want to tell me about some great resources to help in getting my house in order. I’m very open to reading things, but I should probably share that I’ve read quite a few things on home organization already. QUITE a few. Three biggies are Sidetracked Home Executives, flylady , and the book How Not to be a Messie which is available through Amazon.com. All of these are great. Fun reads and they help me feel like I’m not alone. Like I’m not a total freak and that others have had these same struggles. This is wonderful, but I’ve never had much of a problem with self esteem. I just need my house to be clean.
Several years ago, I was reading How Not to be a Messie (given me by my mother) and shared with her on the phone how much I was enjoying it. So she asked if it had helped at all. I said “Well I haven’t finished reading it yet!” The problem is that I know I’m messy, and all of these books, sites, resources have helped me in some ways. They have given me good ideas and perspective. But really, I just have to do it. I have to focus. My home has to be my priority in order for me to get it under control. The problem with all of this is that I get so easily overwhelmed. I love the parts where they talk about the psychology of this “problem” and how it affects you. But when they start talking about all of the things I actually have to do to conquer this, the words start swimming on the page and my head spins.
I do highly recommend Flylady. She recommends babysteps and gives you practical advice. If you want advice on keeping your home in order, go to her. This isn’t the place for that. This is about me trying to figure things out. I finally deleted myself from her list when I realized I hadn’t read one of her MANY emails in months. So, they were just becoming more clutter/guilt in my life.
So, I’m going to be very basic as I get started.
Make my bed. Every morning. EVERY morning.
Get up early enough to put on workout clothes, get breakfast ready and empty the dishwasher before the kids get up. 6:15.
Do a load of laundry every day.
Clean off the table after every meal.
Put things in the dishwasher instead of the sink.
Make lunches the night before.
I could go on and on and on and on with the things I should be doing. But I’m not. Because this time I don’t want to fail.
I just found your site and I am loving it! I too am a "slob", but whenever I know people are coming over, I do a quick clean. Everyone thinks I have such a clean house…..Oh if they were to just drop by, they would see how messy it really is!
Thank you for your honesty! You are just the encouagement I need!
Also, your guest post on breastfeeding was great!!!
This is like reading my diary.thanks for sharing!
I could have written this post word for word. I too am a slob. I too have reAd all the books, joined all the mailing lists, tried a thousand times to get things in order, but to no avail. With the upcoming new year I decided I really just needed to focus and really make a change and I stumbled upon your blog completely by accident. And so far I love it. I love your honesty. I love how you don’t profess to be an expert at this whole organizing thing.
I hope that as I read throug your journey it will inspire me to continue on my own.
Thank you for writing this!
I’m so glad you found me! Welcome!
another vblog i watch is by Malitose79.
I ‘found’ you the other day when I was supposed to be cleaning my house! 🙂 I too have joined, unjoined, joined, unjoined flylady!! My house is never clean and I love your humour and honesty and desire to write and mother…I will definitely continue reading…you’re welcome at my house anytime! (or to my blog) http://freshflowers01.blogspot.com – it’s a little messy, too!
Welcome, Lani! Glad you found me!
I am in shock. Seriously. I am you, I am Lani, and I am Nena…. yet I have this disease called “terminal uniqueness”. How can that be? Thank you so much for this blog. I AM where you WERE three years ago. I have even started reading your blog before, and I think it scared me, so I RAN away from your site… LOL. Now, I found you on Facebook, I came back here with my tail between my legs, and I am going to focus!! (and unsubscribe from FlyLady again- I soo love her, but I do get a big case of “guilt” from not reading her emails) <3 from Indiana
I completely understand that need to run away when you’re not ready! I’ve been there many times!
I just stumbled across your blog and I have started backwards as you suggested. I am where you were when you started this blog. I too have read the books, joined, unjoined, rejoined, unjoined Fly-Lady too. At least 4-5 times. I am learning so much from you. Thank you so much for being so honest and transparent. It is nice to know I am not alone out here.
You’re definitely not alone, Betty-Jo! Definitely!
I accidentially found your blog. I haven’t been able to stop reading or crying about what I’m readimg. You have helped me realize that I might be able to do this. Just tonight my husband had some one here and he felt like he couldn’t invite him in even though it is about -10° outside. Thank you so much for your blog and ministry. I am going to start my own coming clean tomorrow morning, I’d start tonight but its already 9 pm!!
I read your last sentence in this post and started to cry—maybe I am menopausal–because I don’t want to fail either!! I am the mom of 3-2 of which still live at home. I have 3 dog dogs, 2 cats and at the moment 5 puppies that we are trying to find homes for. My hubby is disabled and I am a full time care giver for my 84 year old mom who has dementia. Oh and I work part time –about 30 hours a week. I am kind of busy!! I use my business to justify being a slob. The truth is I have always been a slob!! Maybe not all my 52 years-Mom made me clean my room-but when I run my life I lean toward slobiness!! The problem is I dream of being Martha Stewart(yes I still like her) I dream of having a linen closet with perfect folded sheet–a linen closet so perfect my kids would show their friends. Instead I yell to thekids not to let their friends in the house today “Its to messy” everyday.I am so glad I found this blog–I hope don’t fail-this time!
I fail all the time still! They key is to see it as a little bump instead of a reason to give up completely. Welcome!
I just found your blog and I feel like you on Day 1. My house is always a mess, and my fiance rolls his eyes at me every time I say I’ll be better at cleaning. Granted we don’t have kids yet, but I know I’m going to enjoy reading your blog… Just as soon as I clean off the kitchen table 🙂
I found the podcast and blog via Facebook. I won’t “like” your page on FB because I won’t give my mother the satisfaction. She has long disapproved of my housekeeping habits (with good reason).
But here’s a confession – I’m a SAHM with one kid in school AND a weekly cleaning lady and I still can’t manage to keep my house organized and tidy from Wednesday to Wednesday. In listening to the first five podcasts, I realize you’re right. The one thing I MUST do everyday is run the dish washer. I think (hope) if I managed to start with a clean kitchen in the morning, I will be more motivated to get other things done.
And one question: when decluttering, what do you when your spouse INSISTS on keeping ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING? I have my own sentimental hoarding habits, but his are much worse.
Welcome! And I totally understand about not wanting your mom to know!
Honestly, my advice on helping a spouse declutter is to declutter neutral things and your stuff first. My husband is also more sentimental than I am, but he has come SO far simply from seeing me declutter my own stuff (and kitchen stuff, kids stuff, etc) and seeing how much our home improved. He is now much more willing to get rid of his stuff.
I asked God to give me the motivation to get my house in order and two things happened. My daughter’s babysitter dropped by in the middle of laundry month, and I found this site. This is exactly what I need right now. I am a on again, off again Flybaby and her system works, but I gave up when I got too many emails trying to sell me many purple things to make my life easier. I don’t want purple towels, I just want my house clean. 🙂 Like you, I suffer from the dreaded “I Don’t Wanna” disease. Thank you for making me laugh (at myself) and being willing to say what we all think, just refuse to say out loud. I have started each day with a very loud I DON’T WANT TO BE A SLOB in the middle of my living room. My husband thinks I have lost my marbles. Glad I am not alone!
You’re definitely not alone, Sarah!
it’s so much easier to read about how to clean/organize/declutter than it is to actually do it, of course. plus, i can nurse the baby while reading a book or a website… not as easy to nurse the baby while vaccuming or washing dishes.
Thank you.
I totally resonate with deleting the Flylady emails! I tried “shining my sink” but it never lasted long. Her emails just made me feel guilty as well. I have found success in keeping a clutter free part of my counter in the kitchen. It’s been sustained for more than a month now! It’s helping me keep other clutter free spaces throughout my home too. Blogging definitely helps with accountability. Thanks for your honesty. Baby steps….
I know it’s many years later than you began this blog, but I only discovered you and your books today (Aug31/2019). I now realize that yes, I too am a Slob. Sigh. It kind of pains me to admit it, but from the way you spell it out, it’s me, described bang-on accurately. And your ‘Decluttering at the Speed of Life’ book sheds light on why I am like this. I won’t go into detailed confessioning, but my situation is a bit more extreme than what you describe. The underlying “why” remains, and the practical steps you describe seem as good a place as any to get going. You’ve gotta start somewhere, right? We’ll see how it goes (although I don’t have much choice, as I have to empty my house for sale, and also de-clutter my parent’s house in a different city, which I am buying after we lost my mom a few months ago). So there’s some emotional work on the horizon as well. So far, I’m feeling motivated for the first time in a long time by the chapters in your book. But feeling isn’t doing. I’ll go do something now. Thanks for writing something that for the first time actually makes sense to me!
You are so easy to relate to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am doing as you suggested and reading from the beginning. I am already incorporating your questions and process in my head and that is no easy task for me to remember anything much less to actually do it. That means you are making it easier than anything else and you are so kind and are teaching me to be kind to myself, too. You are such a blessing to us all. God Bless!
13 years later and I’ve just discovered your podcast, which led me to the blog. As a librarian I like to read things in order. So I’m on your 6th podcast and beginning the blogs. No clue if you’ll see this but my heart felt free after listening to your first 2 podcasts. I’ve tried so many techniques and not succeeded. Now I’m more content knowing I might never conquer this. My goal has changed. My perspective has changed.