“It’s Not You . . . It’s Me.” Another Clutter Guilt Conversation Strategy (With Video)

It's Not You, It's Me. Another Clutter Guilt Conversation with video and script from ASlobComesClean.com


Another Clutter Guilt Conversation. I explained my thoughts on Clutter Guilt in yesterday’s post (that also has a video!!).

My first choice is to not worry about the guilt, but sometimes that isn’t possible. If you’re paralyzed, and can’t get rid of things because of the guilt, you might try one of the conversations I’m sharing this week!


(Go here if you can’t see the video!)

The It’s Not You, It’s Me Approach (the script)

GUILTEE: Hey, I need to get rid of that coffee table you gave me.


GUILTEE: Oh, I just don’t have a place for it in my living room anymore. And it doesn’t match the new furniture anyway.

GUILTER: But I got that when I was in college!

GUILTEE: I know. And I loved getting to use it, but I don’t have space for it anymore.

GUILTER: I can’t believe you don’t want that coffee table. I didn’t eat out for three months so I could save up to buy that.

GUILTEE: Oh, it’s a beautiful coffee table, and it served me well for such a long time. But you know how I am. I tend to keep stuff for way longer than I should and I’ve realized that’s a big part of my problem. It’s one of the reasons I have such a hard time keeping my house under control. Thanks so much for giving it to me to use for all those years. That was so nice of you.

GUILTER: So you’ll keep it?

GUILTEE: (crossing eyes) No. I can’t. Do you want it back or should I donate it? I mean, it IS such a nice coffee table . . .

GUILTER: Well, I don’t need it, but you . . .

GUILTEE: (Interrupting) OK then. I’ll donate it. Thanks so much! I just wanted to check with you because I was so grateful you let me use it and didn’t want to donate it without asking you if you wanted it back! Oh, I am so sorry, I have to go.

GUILTER: Hello?? Hello?


Approaches to Clutter Guilt – (Sample Conversations and Videos)

The "Playing Dumb" Approach - A Sample Clutter Guilt Conversation (with script and video) from Nony of ASlobComesClean.com

Clutter Guilt is a real thing. I get questions about it. I did a podcast on the subject last week, and then had this idea for a series of videos.

For my own Clutter Guilt situations, I have the unique advantage of having a blog about decluttering, which means most people in my life (most, not all) KNOW I can’t handle stuff and understand when I have to get rid of things.

Most of them understood pre-blog, anyway.

But honestly, through the past five years of decluttering like a crazy woman, I’ve gained enough Decluttering Momentum that I no longer worry about offending the person who unloaded their own clutter on me. If they don’t want it in their home, I feel no obligation to keep it in mine.

I know. Sometimes it isn’t that simple.

There are times when you can feel obligated to offer the clutter/stuff/junk back to the giver before donating. I’m sharing a few approaches to these conversations this week.

(And mostly, I’m having fun.)

(Click here if you can’t see the video!)


Clutter Guilt Script – The “Playing Dumb” Approach


Guilter: (Answers door.) Well, hello!! How are y . . . What’s that? (looking down)

Guiltee: It’s those Christmas decorations you love so much! I kept one for memory’s sake (I hope that’s okay!!) but I thought I’d give them back to you since I don’t need them anymore and we just don’t have the space to store them!

Guilter: No, when I got new ones I gave those to you. They’re very special to me.

Guiltee: (Very serious.) I know. That’s why I’m bringing them back to you! (continue nodding seriously while attempting to place the box inside his/her house.)

Guilter: I don’t want them.

Guiltee: (Confused) I thought you said they were really special? Oh, I must have misunderstood. I don’t mind at all dropping them by Goodwill.

Guilter: You’re going to DONATE them?

Guiltee: (Confused) Of course! I don’t have the room, and you don’t want them. What else would I do with them? I wouldn’t throw them away!! I mean, these are very nice Christmas decorations!!

Guilter: But I got those at a garage sale in a very fancy neighborhood when I was pregnant with you.

Guiltee: Oh, so you do want them?(starts putting the box down)

Guilter: No, I don’t want them!

Guiltee: OK great! Then I’ll take care of everything! There’s a place I can drop them off on my way to pick up the kids from school.

Guilter: Bu. . .wha . .

Guiltee: Oh, I gotta go! See ya later!!


Feel free to memorize and use!!


Decluttering the Pantry (And Breakfast Nook)

Decluttering the Pantry (With a Webisode) at ASlobComesClean.com

It was time for a pantry clean-out.

Summer, how I love thee. Summer, how you cause havoc in my home.

Actually, it was time for a whole-house clean-out. When things get crazy around here, it’s time to declutter. Some people might just call it “cleaning up” but it helps me to think of it as decluttering.

It’s the only way I know to get some traction going.

I started in the kitchen because it’s visible. It’s a place where people actually go. Where I can’t seem to keep them from going . . .

I’m not sure how these pictures are SO bad, but I’ll share anyway.

Now, if you know how I roll, you know that a pantry doesn’t technically count as a visible space. And I have to start with visible spaces or Doorbell Time comes and I’m not ready because the linen closet is organized but the living room furniture is loaded up with randomness.

BUT, in order to declutter the breakfast nook next to the pantry, I had to clear out space in the pantry.

So I did the easy stuff. And the first of the easy stuff was the trash.

Trashing the Trash in the Pantry Cleanout at ASlobComesClean.com

Like the now-stale bags of chips and the wrapping from that Costco-sized pack of mac-and-cheese.

And the tea.

Undrinkable Tea at ASlobComesClean.com

Ugh. The tea. That probably wasn’t even purchased with a coupon. I honestly don’t even know where it came from, but whoever put it there failed to see that it was supposed to be refrigerated. Since I don’t drink tea (my grown up taste-buds haven’t come in yet), I didn’t notice the bottles for a very long time. And once I did notice, I didn’t move them.


They’re gone now.

I also went through the pantry finding expired and empty boxes. I was determined to ONLY focus on trash, but things like this couldn’t be overlooked:

Cleaning up the spilled honey at ASlobComesClean.com

The top of the picture is where I wiped up spilled honey. The bottom of the picture was the icky shelf I couldn’t ignore while I had a wiping-up-cloth in my hand.

Once I made room in the pantry, I was able to clear the floor.

Cleaning out the Pantry and Breakfast Nook at ASlobComesClean.com

In the end, the pantry looked ever-so-much better.

After purging the pantry of trash at ASlobComesClean.com

I know. I didn’t do a good job of taking pictures. But I did make a video:

Click here to see the video if it isn’t showing up for you.


Oh. You’re wondering when the last time was that I cleaned out my pantry? I’m pretty sure it was right before a national news crew came to my house.




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