I explain Slob Vision as my inability to see incremental mess.
Edit that: my tendency to not see incremental mess.
Edit again: my ability to move around incremental mess like it’s not even there.
Seriously, y’all. I have a gift.
I got a new washer and dryer last year. I love love love them.
One of the “features” I talked about when I got them was the slant of the top of the dryer. And how that slant would surely prevent me piling things atop this ever-so-pilable surface.
Except that this is me. And I’m the queen of piling. And the queen of piles not bothering me the way
they’d bother other people they should totally bother me.
And obviously, I’m also the queen of being able to pile things on slanted surfaces like they’re not even slanted.
Note: If you need to think I’m perfect because you read my book (or, obviously, skimmed if you still think I’m perfect), you should probably stop reading this post now. Because I’m so far from perfect it’s ridiculous. I don’t want to burst your bubble if you happened to come here from one of the places online that refer to me as a Cleaning Guru. (Don’t worry. Typing that makes me laugh as hard as it makes you laugh reading it.)
ANYWAY, this is what the top of my dryer has looked like for a while.
A long while.
I fold right out of the dryer. It’s the laundry management method that rocks my world. Doing that prevents piles of clean clothes from sitting on my recliner for weeks on end. As I fold, I make stacks on top of the washer
and dryer and then go put the clothes away immediately.
Or, obviously, MOST of the clothes.
I truly believed in my heart-of-slob-hearts that this build-up of random clothing on top of my dryer was made up of mostly things I had decided to donate when I took them out of the dryer. And I kept meaning to put a new Donate Box in the laundry room.
The pile had grown high enough that a full body lean/contortion was required to reach the controls on the top of the dryer.
I gave it five minutes. I was sure the pile was made up completely of donations, so I thought five minutes would be plenty.
Here’s what it looked like after five minutes:
So I gave it five more:
Aaaaahhhh. Much better.
Not perfect, but better. Yes, I also see the hanger and the white thing shoved in the corner.
It took more than five minutes to “put these donations in the Donate Box” because this is the sum total of what went into the Donate Box:
- a pair of jeans
- a shirt
Really. Me and my assumptions. Me and my Slob Vision.
Whatever. I got it done. In less than ten minutes. And I’m hoping those delusion-breaking fewer-than-ten-minutes will keep me from re-piling. I did this last Saturday, and there’s not a stitch of clothing on there from Monday’s Laundry Day.