Grandmas and Forgetting and All That

Grandmas and Forgetting and All That title at

Look what my mother brought my kids for Easter:

You see something fun. You see kids running around the yard, joyfully making a colorful mess.

I see everything I ever knew about my own mother and her aversion to pointless messes . . . shattered.

Shattered like colorful eggshells strewn across the sidewalk.


(I feel the need to point out that my children have pointed out that I say “hmmmph” whenever something happens or someone says something that I feel doesn’t deserve an answer.

They have also pointed out that Grammy does the exact same thing in the exact same tone.)


The mother of my own childhood gave many an impassioned speech, filled with well-supported points, about the evils of all things confetti.

Confetti? Pointless.

More than pointless.

Its only purpose is to make a mess. A difficult-to-clean-up mess.

I actually remember a moment when I was concerned for a high school boyfriend who had ended up with a piece of confetti in his eye. It’s not an exact quote, but she said something like, “Well, that’s what happens when people use . . . confetti.”

Obviously, something happened over the last 20 (plus) years that has changed this woman I thought I knew.

She became . . . a Grandma.

Grandmas Forget On Purpose Sometimes at

--Nony get-how-to-manage-your-home-without-losing-your-mind-wherever-books-are-sold


  1. 1

    Haha! That’s funny. Hopefully they enjoyed playing with the eggs… outside!

  2. 2

    I LOVE IT!! As a grandma, I find myself much more open to things my children were absolutely forbidden to have or even consider. My 5-year-old grandson however knows the sound of ‘hmmph’ and often says “You always say that!” usually followed by ‘what does that even mean??’

  3. 3

    Oh, yes, my own mother seems more open to such things now as a Grandmother, because it is no longer their mess to clean up! I also remember having to ask her to stop buying the girls stuffed animals for every holiday. We know what a clutter issue that can become. 🙂

  4. 4

    For years after I had my own apartment I would feel guilty whenever I bought salad dressing because I remembered that every night, when my mother would come home from work, she would make fresh vinaigrette (spelling?). Oil and dry mustard (whisk, whisk), some vinegar (whisk, whisk), some more oil (whisk, whisk) [or something like that], IN HER HEELS!!! After she died and I went to visit my Dad, I opened the refrigerator and saw a row of “boughten” salad dressings — generic — and said, “Oh boy, Mom would have been horrified if she saw we ate boughten salad dressings.” To which my dad replied, “Oh no. She stopped making her own salad dressings years ago.” I wanted kick SOMEBODY for my years of wasted SBSDG (Store Boughten Salad Dressing Guilt) that I had put on myself. Maybe with a little help from my mother who probably said, “oh it’s so easy, why would any one pay money for salad dressing.” But I feel better now. On my way to IHSG (Inadequate Homemaker Support Group).

  5. 6

    It is SO TRUE!! My mother has never worn nail polish in her life. She never bought me nail polish. When I wore nail polish she didn’t say anything negative, but she wasn’t all gung ho about it either. Then, she had granddaughters – and she buys them all nailpolish. And not the pale colors either – we are talking neon and sparkles. What happened to the mother I knew and loved???

  6. 7

    Its amazing how grandkids can soften even the most strict parents. My mom was what some might call a drill sergeant parent and a kindergarten teacher for twenty years. She said she would never act stupid over kids when she saw her brother and sisters get all weird about their grandkids, but when her grandkids came along….. a transformation happened and she is now a softy who does the silliest things for her grandkids and lets them get by with things that we would never have dreamed of doing. However, sometimes she will say, my kids never acted this way (sometimes I think her memory fails her) or did that. So, I get the insinuation that she doesn’t agree with my parenting. Oh well, I am trying and I cant please everyone!

  7. 8

    They do it on purpose, At least my mother laughed gleefully when I called her after she gave the kids glitter covered angels. There was glitter everywhere for months.

  8. 9

    I think some people just mellow as they get older. And it’s always more fun to spoil OPK’s than it is your own…at least when it comes to messy stuff. I don’t actually mind confetti – if it’s paper. What I hate is Easter grass, and I hate that passionately. Not sure how that stuff manages to hide so well, but you can find it months later, long after you thought it was all thrown away. Kind of like the stray icicle from Christmas trees.

  9. 10

    As a grandma, I’m here to tell you that all the rules change! It’s all about the grandkids and what makes them happy. And it’s DELIGHTFUL!!!!!

  10. 12

    (Voice of experience) Amazing how one tiny child can change you!

  11. 13
    Andrea says:

    My sister in law was so kind to send my four year old some of those eggs this year. And then my son got into them and smashed them all over the house. Two weeks later and I’m still finding confetti :/

  12. 14
    Syble watson says:

    We dont have to clean it up when its the grand babies and we do things we never got to do at home

  13. 15
    kayceeintx says:

    That sounds like an ideal gift to play with AT GRANDMA’S HOUSE!

  14. 16

    I remember my dad saying that he had lots of kids so he could lots of grandkids to spoil ( there are 10 of us kids and I’ve lost track of the grand and great grand kids totals) I used to love to sit back with my coffee and watch dad play with my kids and neices and nephews when they were little…We lived out of town and would come and stay the weekend and dad would get the kids breakfast when they got up and I’d wake up to them outside playing hide and seek or him showing them plant and bugs and such and the laughter of the little ones…My mom does/did the same things with the grand kids as she did with us… patiently showing us how to cook , craft and garden whatever it was we were interested in she was there to help guide us.

  15. 17
    Laraba says:

    My husband is very funny about glitter and Easter grass. He says they are both EVIL. My MIL brought gift bags covered with glitter — with the very best of intentions — and our relationship is good enough with my MIL that he was able to tell her to take the bags away at the end of the visit. We STILL found lots of glitter all over…

  16. 18
    Teresa says:

    When my mom started doing this type of thing I realized 2 things had happened. 1. she had grandchildren and much of that lost imagination moms get when their children are old enough to play house for 8 hours straight (but you know never actually clean anything) returns…..grandmas are so much more fun. Second thing is that often she would bring the object like confetti filled eggs to MY house for the kids. If she brings them to my house she is then neither responsible for anything that happens and more importantly is not responsible for any mess made.

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