(Welcome to a stream-of-consciousness post that may or may not end with a profound revelation. Your guess is as good as mine.)
I didn’t post yesterday.
I arrived home from my Bible Study with an hour before school pick-up time, and had to shower. Y’know, since a sweetie-pie picked his nose while sitting on my lap.
Anyway, I spent those last few minutes before braving the carpool loop reading comments and checking out those of you who linked up for the Decluttering Update. (By the way, GO YOU!!!)
When I got home, I was faced with the dilemma. The Afternoon Dilemma.
See, I’ve been struggling lately. Even though I could fill a notebook with a list of all the things I said “No!” to for this school year, I still blurted out way too many yesses. Don’t worry, I’ll be exploring that in the days to come. Because of all those yesses, I have lived the past month (+) in a state of constant behind-ness. I live every day behind, and end every week . . . totally behind. And as I’m sure happens to normal people, and happens-times-ten to slobs, all housekeeping routines and such fall to the very bottom of the priority list.
I have managed to still get most of the laundry washed (though not folded), and run the dishwasher almost every night. These things, plus two years of decluttering, plus an occasional pick-up . . . mean that the house is way better than it ever was pre-blog, and light years ahead of similar crazy-life-periods pre-blog. Normal people wouldn’t (and don’t) believe that to see my house right now, but I’m pretty sure that any kindred spirits out there know what I mean.
I’m currently committed to being out of the house two days a week. One of the days that I’m home is spent doing a weekly freelance writing project. That leaves two days to do everything else . . . unless I say yes. Yes to anything.
If I have a dentist appointment, a teacher conference, and a day (or two) working at the book fair, suddenly my entire week is gone.
I can say no as much as possible, but I also have to do what I dread: Housework at times that I don’t view as Housework Time.
Make sense?
Things have changed. I’m not living the life that I lived for almost ten years as a mother of pre-schoolers. I don’t have the it’s-important-that-my-kids-are-home-and-that’s-when-I-get-my-cleaning-done thing going anymore. I have to either decide that I will never commit to doing ANYthing at X time, because that’s when I clean my house, or I have to fit cleaning in during times when I used to consider my Toddler Day over. Like that drowsy part of the afternoon when I’m answering homework questions and making supper.
Or a combination of both.
Here’s the thing. It was hard enough to develop a cleaning/housework routine in the first place. But once I did, I was so glad. I don’t like living this way, even if it is SO MUCH BETTER, so I need to figure out the new routine for my new normal.
We’ll see how that goes.
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Rhonda Burkhalter says
At this moment I have a load of towels in the washer. I have not one idea what I’m going to fix for dinner. There are MANY things I could be doing. Instead, I am sitting in our basement room play room while my toddler draws and plays and I am on the computer. It is raining outside. That doesn’t help fight off the “it would feel really good to take a nap right now” urge. The kitchen is still clean from my daily detail- two days ago. We have dinner at church on Wednesday night so after Tuesday night meal clean up, the kitchen hasn’t really been used. We don’t have cable or satellite or even local tv channels. The afternoon slump has plagued me forever.
Annie says
I’m a kindred spirit, and I’m so there on finding what works with the new normal. I know that you will figure it out!
Melody says
Hi Nony…It is so hard to fit in all the responsibilities of kids, home, school, church etc.. etc.. It is like trying to do a perpetual puzzle 🙂 I was wondering, how about if you and hubby and the kids, as a family, do an after dinner sometime before bedtime, quicky pickup, small cleaning jobs thing…You could set a time limit, turn on some music, make it fun, and rewarding for the kids even if you wanted 🙂 …It is still spending quality time together as most of life is spent working at something…so we really should all be able to find the joy in our time spent doing so…Good luck…I enjoy reading your blog!
Dori says
I have no doubt you will find your new way to clean your home. What choice do we have, right? I just went through some boxes that have been sitting in my front room for over a year now and found only one trash bag full of junk. The rest I have to find a place for. Totally bummed me out.
ShannonP says
I just wanted to say there is another kindred spirit here. I need a full scale intervention right about now.
A friend of mine was trying to talk me into Flylady.net last night, I tried it once, but just couldn’t get into it. It doesn’t appeal to me at.all.
For what it’s worth, I’m sitting here reading your blog post and pointedly ignoring what a disaster a certain spouse of mine let the living room become from the kids playing in there this morning before he took the oldest to afternoon kindergarten. I am going to continue ignoring it for a while longer, too.
Barefoot Gardener says
Good luck, Nony!
I had a “temporary schedule change” 7 years ago, and I still haven’t figured out how to adjust. Maybe if you can do it, I will have the motivation to give it another try…. maybe. 😉
Nicole says
Do you follow The Fly Lady or anything? I just started today (I never succeeded in the past). It does feel nice to be dressed for a change but I still haven’t finished the morning routine and it’s already 3:30…
Alana in Canada says
Little bits here and there can help. My problem with that is remember which bits where: but a schedule posted on the fridge can work well for that.
I just recently read through your blog–and as I remember, you used to do things in the morning after taking your boys to school–and in the afternoon during your daughter’s nap time. In any event–you wouldn’t let yourself go on-line until you’d done your routine. Would something like that help again?
Downtime is precious, too. Maybe you need the smallest routine possible? Essential tasks only?
Amy says
In a slump here. The lack of sun just makes everything harder for me. The note left on the counter this morning by my husband asking that I “please make getting our home back in order a priority” had the opposite effect. Instead I want to make him a list of all the things he has neglected in our home. Ugh.
Livin In Duckville says
My house is far, far, far from perfect. It is tolerable…. ummm…. to me…. at this moment….. I was reading what the other ladies had posted & what you just posted & I was thinking how everything is for a ‘season’. Doing things the same way isn’t working anymore because the ‘season’ in your life has changed. When my kids started school, I stayed home & it took me some time to get used to that particular schedule. Then after a few years, we homeschooled & they were back home & we had to get used to a new schedule. 9 years later we went back to public school & I got a job – another change/another ‘season/another adjustment. It takes time!! Sometimes it takes longer than other times & sometimes it doesn’t. Give yourselves a break! You will succeed because you WANT to succeed.
Seriously, the first step is realizing you have a problem keeping house/with clutter/etc. Then it’s baby steps to make it better for you.
Good luck to all of you! We can ALL do it – one step at a time.
Laughwithusblog says
lol I loved your post! I still haven’t figured out the new normal of being pregnant again and here it’s almost over. Can we just start with the new after baby normal? Great to meet you tonight! 🙂