On Friday, my 8yo was retelling a Calvin and Hobbes comic.
Something about Calvin convincing his mother that they should go out for pizza by emphasizing to her that she wouldn’t have to spend all that time in the kitchen cooking and then washing dishes.
My son said, “I think the way you do it is so much better, Mom. Y’know, just doing the dishes every couple of days.”
I literally felt my heart sink.
In retelling the story to hubby, he said in mock shock, “What? Hasn’t he been reading your blog?”
My response – “Hasn’t he been LIVING IN OUR HOUSE?”
I’m doing better. I’ve been doing better for over a year now.
Yes, I’m still far from perfect. But for the most part, I’ve done the dishes EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for a year now. But somehow in my child’s mind, I’m still a once-every-few-days-dishwashing kind of mom.
Ugh.
A. says
Hi, I am a new reader of your blog and I just want to thank you. I have read all sorts of housekeeping advice and even created multiple elaborate schedules for myself only to neglect them. I read through your blog from the beginning like a novel and I am now trying the method you started with of adding one new daily "non-negotiable" at a time. I feel like I am actually making progress for the first time and following your method is helping me in other areas of my life as well. I could go on and on about all the things you've written that have helped me but I don't want to get too long on this one comment.
I felt compelled to encourage you after this incident with your son because just reading about your journey over the last year I know you are doing GREAT! It takes (a LONG) time to change others' perceptions of us. Stick with it because regardless of your son's perception now, you are giving your children a huge gift by working on yourself and teaching them to clean. Keep up the great work and the wonderful writing!
Dawn says
It's okay. even though we spend an hour on chores every morning before we start school, and at LEAST half a day every single Saturday, my kids still think we only clean house when we are having people over. Sometimes I feel like asking them, "Um, do you live here? Have you noticed how we do things?" Oh well, selective vision I guess. LOL!!
Nony the Slob says
Wow, A, your comment is so encouraging. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. Comments like yours really keep me going.
Dawn, it's so nice to know I'm not the only one who has experienced this frustration!
Cherish says
Kids and husbands are SO unobservant. Sometimes we only notice our own changes. You're doing great!
Sarah says
I think I would have been more hurt by the husband comment than the kid. Not only is the kid 8, he's male. Two strikes against noticing his world around him. But, yes, as others have pointed out, you just have to keep plugging along for you KNOWING that you are blessing your family. I am SO sorry that this happened, and more than anything, I hope it doesn't build resentment (because it SO would in me!!). It takes SO long to change the perception of those closest to us. They have us in one box, and it may take years (obviously more than one) of living/ behaving one way to allow the loved one to move to a different box in our head.
This SEEMS completely off the subject, but in my head it kind of makes me think of people that are trying to get their lives together with drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc. Hmmmm. Lesson learned for all of us about how we shouldn't forever hold it against them. Don't know why that strikes me about this situation. (though it's a bit different because those folks obviously need accountability, etc.)
Nony the Slob says
Sarah, I do think what you're saying is true, that I should use my own experience to be more understanding and supportive of others who are trying to change.
I do want to be sure though that my husband doesn't look bad here. His response was totally his sense of humor, which maybe isn't as clear when it's written. He's so incredibly supportive of me, and is always encouraging me in this process.
Rebecca Burgener says
Ouch, those little tongues can sting.
Mayhaps he doesn’t realize you are running the dishwasher every night because he is in bed when you run it?
By the way, I love that you are so quick in the comments to make sure everyone knows you think your man is wonderful. More women need to speak up for their wonderful men in our guy-bashing-because-it’s-funny society.
My man is awesome!
Lol.
It’s taken me a month or so, but I’m only a year or so behind you in real time. Did that make any sense? I hope when I reach my one year blogoversary I’ll be seeing some real progress on my blog like you obviously are here. Right now it’s really floundering, and I’m rambling.
Anyway, thanks for what you do!
Rebecca
All I want for Christmas is to see this little boy get adopted!
http://communicatecreativity.com/bennett/
Tanya says
I’ve been reading from the beginning going forward… and I know this post is 1 1/2 years late… and maybe someone has mentioned this in the comments (that I haven’t read)… and maybe you address this in future posts that I haven’t made it to yet… but…
Maybe your son doesn’t think you do the dishes each day because you leave the big stuff until the next morning, so the dishes aren’t totally done everyday. Just a thought.
I love your blog, you are so funny and I see a lot of what I do in the things you talk about.
Also since reading your blog, I have ‘noticed’ things that my slob-vision doesn’t normally see. How can I walk past something a million times, know it’s there (but not know it’s there at the same time) and not pick it up? 🙂
Brittani A. says
I wouldn’t call that a failure (tag) because he didn’t say “Why don’t you do them more than once or twice a week?”
Tine says
Nony, maybe your son inherited your Time Passage Awareness Disorder? 😉
Charlotte says
I know this is years later and your son is now in college, or close to it, but he did point out that he noticed they were done and you were no longer overwhelmed by them. Dishes were the first true success I had. My mom hated doing them even when the dishwasher worked. As a kid, I would get overwhelmed by the dishes and wash them when everything was dirty, only my dad noticed.
I am never more than a couple days behind on the dishes, now to master the rest of the house.